Be available; be very available!

With tongue a little in cheek, I write the heading and perhaps do deliberately infer a sense of fear with the nature of just how available we need to be for our children and our families as a whole.  I could even extend that to community, depending on the nature of your involvement. 

Considering the age and stage of those most vulnerable to our actions, our availability will be monitored and noted - consciously and unconsciously - and reflected in the play or actions of our children.  This can be a threat or the most entertaining, exciting, interesting and diverse challenge you will ever receive.  Be available to your family as much as you can.  BUT!  Not for a minute am I suggesting give up your job.  I love mine and do not intend to stop working anytime soon.  And if you're a stay at home mum, I don't expect you to never have your own time.  Indeed, the opposite is true.  To enable availability to your family, you may (I am tempted to say MUST), have time to yourself in some form or other.  Not contradictory;  smart!
Give yourself a break, and you will be less likely to end up broken.  Or in another way, be mindful and considerate about the way we live our lives, for in the first instance, that is the building block for the way our children's lives will be lived.  Building up healthy relationships with our children may include provision for frank and open talks that provide for debate and honesty, or being still and quiet together, enabling space and calmness. 
Being available, emotionally and physically, can seem difficult, but if we want to avoid the 'Cat's in the cradle' syndrome, then scheduling family time is pretty much vital.  Being present doesn't only mean being in the same room, but being available to listen, to react, to participate and encourage where necessary.  As the creators of Circle of Security suggest from the perspective of the child:  watch over me, delight in me, help me and enjoy with me as I explore, secure in the knowledge that you will be available to do so.  The parent would protect, comfort, delight and assist in the organising of feelings, from within the safe haven, developed by being available to welcome the child should they come to you. 
The security provided from this attachment, will enable you to leave for your special time, and come back due to the development of trust.   If we tell our children in advance of the parent time planned, the length of the time away, and the expected time home (and yes, some will need a lot of prior notice, perhaps including visuals and a timer of sorts), and then stick to our word, we build that trust which, one may argue, is also a form of availability in that one must first have trust to avail of the availability!
So, to your own self, be true. If you need to, create a 'meeting' time in your calendar that takes you for a walk.  Book your 'you time' so you're less likely to give in to parent guilt.  And review with your partner, or the person you've chosen to assist you in meeting this 'you time'.  Often times the success is in the pudding.  THEN, with renewed strength and vigour, check in with your kids.  Honey, I'm home!!

Cool kids relaxed

 Relax Kids is an amazingly versatile and family friendly program that assists children in their social and emotional development. Relaxation, meditation, breathing and yoga are methods identified as assisting in preventing and even reversing challenging behaviours that may be seen to hamper positive relationships.   The techniques identified within the Relax Kids program can support and enhance self-regulation, self-esteem, confidence, concentration and mindfulness and, as such, cognitive and all other developmental areas for children and adults alike. Parents and teachers can incorporate relaxation into the daily routine.  Some exercises in self esteem and self control as well as physical stretches and massage provide a positive start or end to the day.
It is recognised that the impact of words with action are more lasting.  Imagine, therefore, a focused affirmation impacting directly to enhance positive self esteem when coupled with a peer to peer massage, some simple yoga postures, or even a recognised gesture.
Relax Kids is a concept introduced by Marneta Viegas.  With her combined experience in childcare, entertainment and relaxation, the program Marneta devised focusses on seven steps that she (and I must agree!) felt provided the most balanced and holistic method for children to deal with challenges in an appropriate and empowering way.  The 7 'award winning' steps:  Move, Play, Stretch, Feel, Breathe, Believe and Relax assist in the management of emotions and the development of appropriate social skills fundamental to developing relationships.
 Parents and teachers can download a free mp3 of spoken meditation and a pack relevant to them at the website www.relaxkids.com.  The free pack for parents can be downloaded here: 21 Day Relaxation Pack.  Classes will be available in Wagga shortly.  Dates and time will be listed on a separate tab within this blog shortly.  If you are interested, please message me on this blog or at coolkidscalm@gmail.com.  Alternatively, pick up a flyer from Realigned Pilates, 40 Morrow Street, Wagga Wagga. 

Contemplation now in session

Staying in the moment through activity can be just as effective as quiet, seated meditation.  Physical and focused activities such as rock climbing, trampolining, skipping and running, can be enough, due to the repetition, to  keep us in the 'here and now'.  Activities such as *gloop and clay manipulation, can also provide the necessary sensory stimulous to enable stillness of the mind.  As a stress ball can provide an adult with the 'release' to maintain focus, a fidget toy or textured cushion, may provide enough of a distraction to develop concentration - or the recipe to concentration.  By recipe, I refer to if this, (the recognised texture) then that (the act of concentration).   

*gloop - cornflour and water