Big Balloon

Emotional Literacy and how to teach it!

With a grouchy face, my little friend said "I'm fed up!  You're stirring me up!" and stomped his foot. 
Another little friend literally shuddered with joy as her birthday party enveloped her in good feelings. 

Being emotionally literate means being able to label emotions in self and in others.  Without this, empathy is undeveloped as perspectives are difficult to relate to.  Without emotional literacy, the path to friendships is much rockier.  Emotional literacy, as with all other developmental areas, requires practice, modelling and the right response. 
Acknowledging emotions
A great way to start is to acknowledge emotion in a child as they are experiencing it.  In the examples above, acknowledging that "I can see that you're fed up.  Your face is scrunched and you have stomped your foot!" or for the second child, "Wow...I can see that you are so excited!"  would be a great starting place.  Rather than moving straight to the solution for the angry child, dismissing the emotion, or reaching for the camera for the happy child, take that moment to verbalise the emotion - put a label on it. 
In the first example, the child has a good emotional labelling set in place.  He has been able to show his feelings physically, as well as label them verbally.  Whilst we don't know yet what has set that emotion off, we are clear and he is clear on that frustrated and quite obvious 'fed up' feeling.  Child number two is non verbal.  Whether this is developmentally appropriate or a delayed development, emotional literacy can still be taught.  By using facial expressions and physical gestures, we know the child is happy and excited.  By modelling the verbal expression for that emotion, we are adding to that experience a label and identification. 
Tips:  Mimic the happy action and verbalise the perceived emotion at the same time when appropriate.  Be wary of mocking an emotion.  Mimicking a stomped foot could seem jestful and result in a lost learning opportunity, escalating from fed up to meltdown!  Don't dismiss or deny an emotion.  If a child says they're angry, hurt, upset, telling them "No you're not"  or "You'll be right" as the first response teaches them that the emotion was invalid, mislabelled, or not recognised.
Emotional Literacy using Literacy
Using specifically chosen children's books that highlight emotions, is a wonderful way to teach emotional literacy.  Your local library would be an ideal place to start and you can of course approach the librarian to help direct you.  Specific baby books with faces showing a variety of feelings can start even the smallest learner in the identification process.  Toddlers and Preschoolers can be encouraged to reflect on how Wombat must feel in Mem Fox's 'Wombat Divine' at each page change, or the hat seller in 'Caps for Sale' when the monkeys take his caps and then eventually return them. 

Tips:  Don't be afraid to read the same book over and over.  Indeed, that is a fantastic way to move from adult labelling to child labelling.  It could also prompt dramatic play where emotions are pivotal to the story.  Prompt, as the adult, and provide a story line that you create and the child acts out.  If you're engaged and your face is a mirror, the child will have a visual of that emotion accessible immediately.  Know the book before you read.  This will help you adjust your voice or physical posture to really emphasis the emotions within.  Books are pre-learning/post-learning opportunities.  They can provide a reflective point if required during the identification of an emotion eg. "Remember how excited Hairy Maclary was to play with his friends?".  The Center for Social Emotional Foundation in Early Learning (CSEFEL) provides a social and emotional Book Nook with a number of identified books and some attached learning opportunities that families or educators can use.     
Using pictures and apps
Having access to pictures of people in different emotive states can be as easy as using a newspaper pamphlet or a tv commercial.  Asking questions such as "how is that person feeling?"  and "how do we know that?"  as well as more learning questions such as "what do you think happened to make them feel that way?" sparks great emotional literacy recognition. For children who don't identify emotions well, apps such as iTouchiLearn Feelings or ABA Flash Card Emotions (American) or AutismXpress (Australian) provide opportunity to identify and see emotions. 
Tips: Used alongside an adult or child modelling the emotions will help reinforce.
Songs and rhymes
Changing words to songs is allowed!  Adapt any nursery rhyme to fit the occasion, or use the recognised "If you're happy and you know it" to entertain while you learn! Putting on classical music or world music with different tempos and varying degrees of volume can be used to provoke emotions.  Labelling a fast, loud, upbeat tune as excited, and having the children react in the same way, provides stimulus alongside the literacy.  Being slow and peaceful during a relaxing piece of music also gives you a strategy to calm children out of a heightened emotion, using the opportunity to also learn the words for calm and peaceful.  Li'l Melodies Kindermusik in Wagga provides programs that promote emotional literature through music. 
Tips:  Remember to label your own emotions "I'm really happy as my friend is coming for lunch!"  "I'm a bit sad because my friend couldn't come".  Asking "What could make me happy?" isn't self indulgent!  It provides the child an opportunity to try out what you've been practicing!  Maybe putting on some beautiful music will make you feel better!  Don't forget to show it! :) 
Resources and references
The Raising Children Network has age based sections regarding communication and emotions.  This link provides strategies for Talking through Angry Feelings for Preschoolers.  Log on to www.raisingchildrennetwork.net.au for more ideas.
The CSEFEL website has fantastic resources for families.  The articles Teaching Your Child to Identify and Express Emotions  and Teaching your Child about Feelings are worth reading.  The Book Nook is within the CSEFEL website and, as referred to in the blog, provides some great activities and ways to use books to enhance emotional literacy.
Li'l Melodies Kindermusik in Wagga provides programs that promote emotional literature through music.  Articles supporting social and emotional development are included on their FaceBook page.

Social and Emotional Development - DO believe the hype.

We hear the jargon and sometimes think it's pop culture that will roll over once the new fad is in.  But social and emotional skills are not just 'it' words.  These are the underpinning developmental areas that provide the foundation for all other learning to take place.  Fact.  However you dress it up, the evidence has time and time again drawn the same conclusion.  So why don't we have incredibly self-aware and confident learners oozing out of our schools and preschools?  Perhaps this is due to the miscomprehension that these skills just come to us.  Certainly we are predisposed to personality traits that will influence how we approach or respond to social and emotional situations.  We can, however, as parents, educators and members of our community, provide strategies and supports to assist a child develop appropriate and useful social and emotional skills that will compliment a learning style or personality.  Furthermore, we can assess the environment in which we live, particularly once we do know a child's strengths and challenges. 
-Reducing exposure to LED lighting at certain times of the day, assist in the bodies natural ability to produce melatonin, the naturally produced drug that assists in peaceful sleep.  Having availability to fresh air - even during those really cold days! 
-Having an environment that is receptive to self-declared moments of peace and quiet;  and a space in which to, quite simply, laugh madly, are so valuable! 
-Many early learning settings and schools are taking time to relax and stretch at certain times of the day.  This is an essential starting point.  We don't always have to be on the go, and we do so appreciate some guidance in these experiences. 
-Praising the good times, at every opportunity, doesn't lessen the value or cause our kids to be 'praise needy'.  It's the way this is handled that is key.  Think of the praise as a deposit you can make into the child's emotional piggy bank and be genuine, interested and appropriate.  Reduce the 'gush' or the repeated, possibly dismissive 'good girl' and match the 'great effort' with a smile and a thumbs up.  Some great praise descriptors can be found in the Raising Children Network article below.
-Provide opportunities for the child to really develop self-worth.  Even sharing a favourite book from home with a group of other children is achieving this.  Actually linking a child's own interests with learning outcomes at school gives that child a feeling of value. 
-Keeping children interested and engaged means really knowing a child's preferences.  Take time to smell the flowers - afterall, every child is a blossom ready to bloom.
Relax Kids, 6 Seconds, Teaching Pyramid resources, Raising Children Network all provide extensive suggestions on how to further develop social and emotional skills in young children with the focus on both families and educators, and the view to being able to transfer skills into any setting.
Further articles in support of teaching social/emotional intelligence (I'll add to these over time):
http://www.happychild.com.au/articles/teaching-emotional-intelligence-how-schools-can-educate-children-for-life
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/encouraging_good_behaviour.html






  

Close your eyes and be very still...

Early Literacy skills are enhanced by repetition and rhythm.  The groove quite literally sets up pathways in our brains to form a memory that we return to when a similar beat or sound is heard again.  These pathways are stronger when coupled with images, colours or actions - which is why you'll find visuals, or song actions so helpful for literacy and communication development.

The exact same stimulus can be used for emotional literacy.  In relaxation meditations, for instance, hearing the same entrance sentence such as that used in Relax Kids "close your eyes and be very still and imagine..." Immediately invokes calmness to children who have heard it repeated - the pathway is set.  They learn to expect that immediately thereafter will be a spoken story featuring themselves in a variety of scenarios.  The meditation may be based on a well known story or fable, a feeling, or an action.
Relaxation is enhanced by the subconscious learning how to react without force, once the rhythm of those familiar words are heard.
Reducing or eliminating excess background noise enables focus. Having a starting sound, hum or vibration will help in that settling period, too.  Sometimes quiet soothing music or even nature sounds can assist in reducing the heart rate to resting state.
Being physically comfortable is so important.  In some cases a child will really respond to being tightly wrapped in a warm blanket - I try to always have some available; whilst others starfish their limbs and need freedom to relax.
Slow down the breath with deep belly breathing.  You can experiment with mouth open and closed, sighing, and then slowing down with counting in, counting out.  Try for longer exhalations.
Tensing and relaxing using the breath in and breath out is really effective.  We talked about actions in literacy earlier.  The action of taking a breath and tensing the legs, then releasing the breath and relaxing the legs is very beneficial in the process of calming down.  Move through the whole body in thus way.  Our bodies will remember that feeling of release, and the technique of tensing and relaxing can be used at any time to help self regulate. It is subtle, too.  Scrunching toes up inside your shoes can really help with the activating of acupressure points to help during emotional times. 
Be sensitive to children's sense of smell.  A light spray of lavender oil with water can be so calming for many but hold off if a child seems uncomfortable.  It may be wonderful to use in a sandpit or playdough - just remember it will go stale if you don't refresh.
And finally the timbre of your voice. Modelling a calm, slightly deeper voice will bring the child's level of angst down.  Provide space between your words, without making it rigid.  During a meditation, close over your own eyes, and have a slight smile on your face.  This will be reflected in your voice.
 For more tips on starting relaxation with your child, click onto the Relax Kids UK Blog: http://www.relaxkids.com/UK/Blog/Do_children_need_to_relax
Enjoy!

Make a wish....

How limitless it is to wish. We are bound only by our own imaginations - the copious amounts of flying unicorns are testament to this! Oh but there are rules, too.  Don't tell your wish or it won't come true. Cross your fingers, close your eyes.  Blow your candles, your dandelion, your eyelash and your wish will have wings.  Make your wish on the very first star.  A wish can certainly be meaningful - a wish for world peace; for no hunger in the world. A wish can be desperate and if overheard, heart wrenching. A wish can be the foundation for inner direction.  It may form the basis of a prayer, a chant or a group meditation, or the starting point from which real learning experiences may arise.  We are even sometimes warned "be careful what you wish for".

A creative activity to encourage 'imaginitis':  create a wishing time in the day where all wishes can be heard and shared without risk; where drawing or writing or wishing tales can represent even the wildest of dreams.  A wishing box, a wishing tree, a wishing pillow, a wishing bubble blower could play host or carrier.  Be warned - glitter may be required! During this special time, the wishes may be used to start an imaginary game or a joint piece of art.  Unicorns and chocolate baths may fill pages of a wish journal, or be the stars or setting of a play. Be available to the mystical and sensitive to the pleas.  Respond in awe or praise or gratitude, for the sharing of a wish is a big deal!  "What an amazing wish!  Thank you for telling me!"  "Did you think of that wish all by yourself?"  Be constantly mindful of enabling the wish for wish-sake.  And never promise what can't or won't be delivered.  Believe me! :)

Barefoot and fancy free!

Have you ever heard of barefoot or shoeless learning?  The concept is simple - you remove your shoes at the door, and learn! I love the idea as I am a 'remove shoes' kind of person, preferring a pair of comfy slippers or socks, any day!  I first heard of it from the remarkable Stephen Heppell.  Stephen creates learning environments - be they virtual or tangible - and has had international success at drawing out individual strengths and making them work for everyone.  I could wax lyrical about Stephen and once offered to jump in his briefcase in an effort to learn as much from him as possible!  The Shoeless Learning Space isn't his own idea, it's universal and often times cultural, but he talks about why it works at this link: http://rubble.heppell.net/places/shoeless/default.html.  I think I'll give it a go!

FREE Relax Kids May Calendar

Each month Relax Kids provide you with the opportunity to print off an affirmation calendar.  It's quirky, it's positive, and it's a beautiful way to track the days that pass.  May is linked below.  Be sure to log in each month to collect for your child.  (I have one in my office, too! :) )  
CLICK FOR YOUR Relax Kids Affirmation Calendar - May

Emotional Resilience - the internal Emergency Room!

EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE is a strength, a quality, an end result in a pathway encompassing social and emotional intelligence.  Resilience, stemming from the Latin resilio to 'leap' or 'spring' back, is the basis for this life-skill.  Therefore, we can think of emotional resilience as the ability to bounce-back or cope in a stressful situation.  For our children, that may be in any setting in their early life, and could be due to any number of factors occurring naturally or placed upon them.  Diversity in experiences can test our natural resilience.  The good news is, we can develop with practice, a learned emotional resilience - even in adulthood.  Wanting emotional resilience for our children because we know it can set a child up for the ability to get through the difficult times and failures, as well as the successful highs and excitements life has to throw at them is a wonderful starting point.  Actually facilitating emotional resilience must then be a powerful path thereafter.  Parents, carers, teachers, or any significant person in a child's life has the power to set the stage for this 'super power'.  How?  Here are some great links and suggestions!

MINDFULNESS - being able to be in the present moment, reducing distractions, and being able to focus on how you feel at any given time.  Practicing mindfulness can decrease stress, increase self-awareness, develop emotional expression and understanding, and effectively handle difficult or unpleasant experiences.  It can be the foundation for developing positive relationships.
The Relax Kids freepack for Families provides 21 days worth of activities, strategies and suggestions for developing mindfulness, relaxation skills and general emotional resilience. www.relaxkids.com  (I will provide the link when they've completed the update!)




EMPOWER - being given opportunities to practice emotional resilience - rather than being overly-protected and sheltered - through difficult periods and proud moments, stressful situations and experiences, will ultimately develop emotional resilience in children. The Australian National Early Years Learning Framework is underpinned by the principles:  Being, Belonging and Becoming - the ultimate in empowering the young child. This EYLF guide for families explains.  KidsMatter is an Australian Mental Health and Wellbeing initiative supporting children.  These Family Information Sheets from http://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/ discuss ways families can support emotional and social learning.  Other really insightful articles and learning sheets for families can be found at Family Tools on the website for the Center for Social and Emotional Foundations for Learning (CSEFEL).



MODEL - demonstrate your own steps to getting through any given situation.  Use the steps when a child is requiring support.  Modelling the words, the body language, the actions and steps for being empathic will lead to the development of the various elements that make up emotional resilience.  Modelling can also be peer to peer, as well as adult to child and adult to adult.  See the  'Back-Pack' series (and link below) for examples of modelling. 

 EXPRESS - verbally (spoken words) and/or non-verbally (images, actions, body language) are the communication tools required for expressing emotions, demonstrating empathy, sharing experiences.
This really insightful article from Vanderbilt University provides some strategies, language, and real-life situations that you can use to encourage your child to recognise and express emotions:  Teaching your Child to Identify and Express Emotions.  
This parent support 'Back-Pack' series from TACSEI (Technical Assistance Centre on Social and Emotional Intervention) has a section devoted to Emotions and Social Skills, but all four sections are worth looking through.  Strategies to use at home and in collaboration with your child's learning environment are provided in many different aspects.

Be available; be very available!

With tongue a little in cheek, I write the heading and perhaps do deliberately infer a sense of fear with the nature of just how available we need to be for our children and our families as a whole.  I could even extend that to community, depending on the nature of your involvement. 

Considering the age and stage of those most vulnerable to our actions, our availability will be monitored and noted - consciously and unconsciously - and reflected in the play or actions of our children.  This can be a threat or the most entertaining, exciting, interesting and diverse challenge you will ever receive.  Be available to your family as much as you can.  BUT!  Not for a minute am I suggesting give up your job.  I love mine and do not intend to stop working anytime soon.  And if you're a stay at home mum, I don't expect you to never have your own time.  Indeed, the opposite is true.  To enable availability to your family, you may (I am tempted to say MUST), have time to yourself in some form or other.  Not contradictory;  smart!
Give yourself a break, and you will be less likely to end up broken.  Or in another way, be mindful and considerate about the way we live our lives, for in the first instance, that is the building block for the way our children's lives will be lived.  Building up healthy relationships with our children may include provision for frank and open talks that provide for debate and honesty, or being still and quiet together, enabling space and calmness. 
Being available, emotionally and physically, can seem difficult, but if we want to avoid the 'Cat's in the cradle' syndrome, then scheduling family time is pretty much vital.  Being present doesn't only mean being in the same room, but being available to listen, to react, to participate and encourage where necessary.  As the creators of Circle of Security suggest from the perspective of the child:  watch over me, delight in me, help me and enjoy with me as I explore, secure in the knowledge that you will be available to do so.  The parent would protect, comfort, delight and assist in the organising of feelings, from within the safe haven, developed by being available to welcome the child should they come to you. 
The security provided from this attachment, will enable you to leave for your special time, and come back due to the development of trust.   If we tell our children in advance of the parent time planned, the length of the time away, and the expected time home (and yes, some will need a lot of prior notice, perhaps including visuals and a timer of sorts), and then stick to our word, we build that trust which, one may argue, is also a form of availability in that one must first have trust to avail of the availability!
So, to your own self, be true. If you need to, create a 'meeting' time in your calendar that takes you for a walk.  Book your 'you time' so you're less likely to give in to parent guilt.  And review with your partner, or the person you've chosen to assist you in meeting this 'you time'.  Often times the success is in the pudding.  THEN, with renewed strength and vigour, check in with your kids.  Honey, I'm home!!

Cool kids relaxed

 Relax Kids is an amazingly versatile and family friendly program that assists children in their social and emotional development. Relaxation, meditation, breathing and yoga are methods identified as assisting in preventing and even reversing challenging behaviours that may be seen to hamper positive relationships.   The techniques identified within the Relax Kids program can support and enhance self-regulation, self-esteem, confidence, concentration and mindfulness and, as such, cognitive and all other developmental areas for children and adults alike. Parents and teachers can incorporate relaxation into the daily routine.  Some exercises in self esteem and self control as well as physical stretches and massage provide a positive start or end to the day.
It is recognised that the impact of words with action are more lasting.  Imagine, therefore, a focused affirmation impacting directly to enhance positive self esteem when coupled with a peer to peer massage, some simple yoga postures, or even a recognised gesture.
Relax Kids is a concept introduced by Marneta Viegas.  With her combined experience in childcare, entertainment and relaxation, the program Marneta devised focusses on seven steps that she (and I must agree!) felt provided the most balanced and holistic method for children to deal with challenges in an appropriate and empowering way.  The 7 'award winning' steps:  Move, Play, Stretch, Feel, Breathe, Believe and Relax assist in the management of emotions and the development of appropriate social skills fundamental to developing relationships.
 Parents and teachers can download a free mp3 of spoken meditation and a pack relevant to them at the website www.relaxkids.com.  The free pack for parents can be downloaded here: 21 Day Relaxation Pack.  Classes will be available in Wagga shortly.  Dates and time will be listed on a separate tab within this blog shortly.  If you are interested, please message me on this blog or at coolkidscalm@gmail.com.  Alternatively, pick up a flyer from Realigned Pilates, 40 Morrow Street, Wagga Wagga. 

Contemplation now in session

Staying in the moment through activity can be just as effective as quiet, seated meditation.  Physical and focused activities such as rock climbing, trampolining, skipping and running, can be enough, due to the repetition, to  keep us in the 'here and now'.  Activities such as *gloop and clay manipulation, can also provide the necessary sensory stimulous to enable stillness of the mind.  As a stress ball can provide an adult with the 'release' to maintain focus, a fidget toy or textured cushion, may provide enough of a distraction to develop concentration - or the recipe to concentration.  By recipe, I refer to if this, (the recognised texture) then that (the act of concentration).   

*gloop - cornflour and water