We hear the jargon and sometimes think it's pop culture that will roll over once the new fad is in. But social and emotional skills are not just 'it' words. These are the underpinning developmental areas that provide the foundation for all other learning to take place. Fact. However you dress it up, the evidence has time and time again drawn the same conclusion. So why don't we have incredibly self-aware and confident learners oozing out of our schools and preschools? Perhaps this is due to the miscomprehension that these skills just come to us. Certainly we are predisposed to personality traits that will influence how we approach or respond to social and emotional situations. We can, however, as parents, educators and members of our community, provide strategies and supports to assist a child develop appropriate and useful social and emotional skills that will compliment a learning style or personality. Furthermore, we can assess the environment in which we live, particularly once we do know a child's strengths and challenges.
-Reducing exposure to LED lighting at certain times of the day, assist in the bodies natural ability to produce melatonin, the naturally produced drug that assists in peaceful sleep. Having availability to fresh air - even during those really cold days!
-Having an environment that is receptive to self-declared moments of peace and quiet; and a space in which to, quite simply, laugh madly, are so valuable!
-Many early learning settings and schools are taking time to relax and stretch at certain times of the day. This is an essential starting point. We don't always have to be on the go, and we do so appreciate some guidance in these experiences.
-Praising the good times, at every opportunity, doesn't lessen the value or cause our kids to be 'praise needy'. It's the way this is handled that is key. Think of the praise as a deposit you can make into the child's emotional piggy bank and be genuine, interested and appropriate. Reduce the 'gush' or the repeated, possibly dismissive 'good girl' and match the 'great effort' with a smile and a thumbs up. Some great praise descriptors can be found in the Raising Children Network article below.
-Provide opportunities for the child to really develop self-worth. Even sharing a favourite book from home with a group of other children is achieving this. Actually linking a child's own interests with learning outcomes at school gives that child a feeling of value.
-Keeping children interested and engaged means really knowing a child's preferences. Take time to smell the flowers - afterall, every child is a blossom ready to bloom.
Relax Kids, 6 Seconds, Teaching Pyramid resources, Raising Children Network all provide extensive suggestions on how to further develop social and emotional skills in young children with the focus on both families and educators, and the view to being able to transfer skills into any setting.
Further articles in support of teaching social/emotional intelligence (I'll add to these over time):
http://www.happychild.com.au/articles/teaching-emotional-intelligence-how-schools-can-educate-children-for-life
http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/encouraging_good_behaviour.html
Close your eyes and be very still...
The exact same stimulus can be used for emotional literacy. In relaxation meditations, for instance, hearing the same entrance sentence such as that used in Relax Kids "close your eyes and be very still and imagine..." Immediately invokes calmness to children who have heard it repeated - the pathway is set. They learn to expect that immediately thereafter will be a spoken story featuring themselves in a variety of scenarios. The meditation may be based on a well known story or fable, a feeling, or an action.
Relaxation is enhanced by the subconscious learning how to react without force, once the rhythm of those familiar words are heard.
Reducing or eliminating excess background noise enables focus. Having a starting sound, hum or vibration will help in that settling period, too. Sometimes quiet soothing music or even nature sounds can assist in reducing the heart rate to resting state.
Being physically comfortable is so important. In some cases a child will really respond to being tightly wrapped in a warm blanket - I try to always have some available; whilst others starfish their limbs and need freedom to relax.
Slow down the breath with deep belly breathing. You can experiment with mouth open and closed, sighing, and then slowing down with counting in, counting out. Try for longer exhalations.
Tensing and relaxing using the breath in and breath out is really effective. We talked about actions in literacy earlier. The action of taking a breath and tensing the legs, then releasing the breath and relaxing the legs is very beneficial in the process of calming down. Move through the whole body in thus way. Our bodies will remember that feeling of release, and the technique of tensing and relaxing can be used at any time to help self regulate. It is subtle, too. Scrunching toes up inside your shoes can really help with the activating of acupressure points to help during emotional times.
Be sensitive to children's sense of smell. A light spray of lavender oil with water can be so calming for many but hold off if a child seems uncomfortable. It may be wonderful to use in a sandpit or playdough - just remember it will go stale if you don't refresh.
And finally the timbre of your voice. Modelling a calm, slightly deeper voice will bring the child's level of angst down. Provide space between your words, without making it rigid. During a meditation, close over your own eyes, and have a slight smile on your face. This will be reflected in your voice.
For more tips on starting relaxation with your child, click onto the Relax Kids UK Blog: http://www.relaxkids.com/UK/Blog/Do_children_need_to_relax
Enjoy!
Make a wish....
How limitless it is to wish. We are bound only by our own imaginations - the copious amounts of flying unicorns are testament to this! Oh but there are rules, too. Don't tell your wish or it won't come true. Cross your fingers, close your eyes. Blow your candles, your dandelion, your eyelash and your wish will have wings. Make your wish on the very first star. A wish can certainly be meaningful - a wish for world peace; for no hunger in the world. A wish can be desperate and if overheard, heart wrenching. A wish can be the foundation for inner direction. It may form the basis of a prayer, a chant or a group meditation, or the starting point from which real learning experiences may arise. We are even sometimes warned "be careful what you wish for".
A creative activity to encourage 'imaginitis': create a wishing time in the day where all wishes can be heard and shared without risk; where drawing or writing or wishing tales can represent even the wildest of dreams. A wishing box, a wishing tree, a wishing pillow, a wishing bubble blower could play host or carrier. Be warned - glitter may be required! During this special time, the wishes may be used to start an imaginary game or a joint piece of art. Unicorns and chocolate baths may fill pages of a wish journal, or be the stars or setting of a play. Be available to the mystical and sensitive to the pleas. Respond in awe or praise or gratitude, for the sharing of a wish is a big deal! "What an amazing wish! Thank you for telling me!" "Did you think of that wish all by yourself?" Be constantly mindful of enabling the wish for wish-sake. And never promise what can't or won't be delivered. Believe me! :)
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